…women’s world domination for International Women’s Day

Yippee! It's International Women's Day (www.internationalwomensday.com)

The trade-off from centuries of inequality and oppression is a day designated just for women. Yippee (with a crooked hand-held flag).

Personally, I had no idea today was International Women’s Day (yes you can say IWD). The onus of my lack of knowledge could fall on me. Or perhaps they should sack their PR. Did you know about it? It’s been around for 100 years.

Now, I could go fetch my feminist alter ego and bitch complain about women’s struggle in the workplace, the lack of cuddles from my boss, and why there isn’t a damn chocolate machine that spits out free candy on PMS days! But I’m unemployed, so my office-politics rage is a little low.

The problem of un-awareness could easily be resolved, however, if women were given reign of the world on International Women’s Day. We could give it a catchy slogan like ‘Women Rule the World Day’ or ‘Women World Domination Day’. WWDD has a ring to it, don’t you think?

And if you won’t stop bitching about it, we would at least wear black leather and studs as a compromise, so nobody should be complaining.

Black leather for WWDD International Women's Day (credit: www.fightersgeneration.com)

By the way, USA celebrates IWD for a whole month.

Think about it:

• When political tensions rise and leaders get frustrated, women would quickly diffuse potential war crises by yelling ‘I just can’t deal with you right now’ and storm off.
• When men say ‘Honey, I can’t find the nuclear warheads and terrorist bombers’… we would say ‘if I come in there and find it!’ and point out that it was right in front of their faces the whole time.
• 

  If I come in there and find it....!! (image via Wikipedia)
• We could control global tensions with an evil look alone.
• Women’s obsessions with diets would decrease food budgets, essentially solving world hunger with all the leftovers.
• Women would check credit-card statements and balance banks’ check books, so they know exactly when an $80,000,000,000 expenditure didn’t end up as a present for them. Crisis solved.
• ‘Time outs’ would be allowed in congress. The ‘T’ hand shape is an international signal, so translation wouldn’t be needed.
• Our experience of inequality would ensure our commitment to being fair: men would also get PMS sick leave.

The lack my awareness does highlight a simple truth, however. As I sit here enjoying my voting rights and being let off my kitchen-chain, I forget the hardships and protests of women who fought before me.

To them, I sincerely thank you.