...why your goldfish had to DIE

Here fishy fishy (credit: http://goldfish.ornamental-fishes.com/)

I’m as sorry as you are that this post had to happen. But I was thinking about everything’s purpose in life, and I stumbled across (in my mind) the Goldfish’s Purpose In Life. They are meant to die.

I’ll put it in ten easy points, just in case it gets too overwhelming and brings back childhood memories of ‘Goldie’ or ‘Fishy’ or ‘Goldie Fishy’.

But, he/she (not that you checked) died for a purpose…

1.  It taught you the concept of life and death. Now it’s swimming, now it’s floating, now it’s flushed. Particularly insightful for those who plan on floating dead relatives down the Ganges.
2. It’s easier to flush a goldfish down the toilet than a Labrador.
3. Cats don’t like water. Particularly, toilet water.
4. It taught you responsibility. And that your parents will pick up after your mess, just like they did when you never bothered to feed it.
5. That your parents have limits and eventually get sick of looking after your responsibilities**.
6. It introduced you to the power of persuasion. “But, daddy, I want another one! I promise I’ll feed Goldie Fishy the Eleventh this time.”
7. And handouts… “Dad, I need 20 bucks for a new goldfish.”
8. Because the girl Goldie Fishy met the boy Goldie Fishy and they made Little Goldie Fishies. And then the tank got crammed and they all died.
9.  You have to keep on swimming, keep on swimming, keep on swimming (there’s a life lesson hidden in there).
10. Because goldfish are boring. And you were always going to turn to boys or girls eventually.

**Also a good lesson in delegating blame, seeing they’re the ones who forgot to feed it/didn’t help you/let you down… All good phrases you’ll need later in life when you mess up.